by Melissa Bradfield 2/16/23

Passion – Connection – Intimacy – Love – Sex

What do these words have in common? Nothing and everything! These words are loaded with expectation, anticipation, fear, and anxiety to name a few. The experience we have of these words can be layered with perceptions, opinions, shame, guilt, trauma, fear, and the sensation of butterflies. How is that possible? How are these words so full of so many different meanings?

Continue reading “Desiring”

by Jennifer Knutson, 2/1/2023

There’s no doubt that those who have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) live a challenging life. They may lack motivation to do the basic of tasks, have difficulties with memory, make impulsive decisions, or spend hours researching a new hobby only to lose interest a few days later. What does this look like to an outsider? Patiently (or impatiently) waiting for them to finish the laundry that’s been sitting in the dryer for a few days. Feeling hurt if they forgot a birthday. Feeling brushed off while they Google a DIY project, spend a decent amount of money to purchase the materials and then let the project sit half-done after they lose interest. Even the most patient and understanding of people can get frustrated when someone they love does these things on a regular basis. Even if the person with ADHD takes medication, it doesn’t prevent these kinds of situations from happening.

Continue reading “Distracted Love: Loving Someone with ADHD”

“This is the most common example of disconnection between wants and desires, and it has nothing to do with the person you are with.”

I want to want sex

by Melissa Bradfield, 12/8/22

Wanting sex and desiring sex do not always equal. Many people experience a disconnect between the wanting and the desiring at some point in their life. Have you ever said or thought, “I just want to want sex.” This is the most common example of disconnection between wants and desires, and it has nothing to do with how much you love the person you’re with. In fact, the more you love the person you’re with, the more difficult the disconnection between want and desire can be. 

So the question is, how do you bridge the gap? What is important to know is that although this gap may be a new thing for you or an old thing you’re just tired of, know that it’s common, normal even, and there is nothing wrong with you. If you’re one of those people reading this and thinking, “but it didn’t use to be this way. I use to want sex all the time. This isn’t my normal!”

Continue reading “I want to want sex”